"I keep telling myself...."

"I’m sitting out dances on the wall/ Trying to forget everything that isn't you/ I'm not going home alone/ Cause I don't do too well on my own/The only thing worse than not knowing/Is you thinking that I don't know/I'm having another episode/ I just need a stronger dose (Fall Out Boy)

So it's 8:30 a.m. and well I've been up since 3:30 am and that was after just falling asleep at midnight! Man... let me tell you this have one night off crap is well....crap!
Actually, my problem is that I went out last night with a couple friends that have margaritas and well when I got home at 10:30 last night I was ready to go to sleep after drinking a few margies!
But before I went to sleep I finally did something that I've been debating on whether or not I should do for a few weeks now...and I won't give many details because "he" might see this! :) But anything I feel much better now! Then after that I talked to my friend Mariah for a little while I had to tell her what I did. We had talked the past weekend for a long time about out men issues...yeah it was a long conversation!
As I told my dear friend Jen If it wasn't against my religion I'd be a lesbian!
So after I talked to Mariah I made a final decision on what I'm goign to be for the costume party in a couple weeks!
I think I'm going to make my costume, I think that will make it look the best, but I'm not sure if I'm crafty enough with the sewing machine yet to pull it off in less than 2 weeks! So I"m going to make some phone calls this afternoon to some friends to see if they can whip it up for me!
So since 3:30 this morning I've actually got a number of things accomplished! I cleaned the kitchen, washed dishes, ran a load of clothes, baked an angel food cake, and went grocery shopping. I bought a cool new trash can at wal-mart too! and I bought a pattern that I think will work for my costume idea!!!
When I was at work I ran into this guy that I work with! Don't you hate that? when it's 7am looking all grungy and you see people you know!
I wish I was sleepy, but I'm not yet! I have to go to work tonight so i hope I can get some more sleep!
I called headquarters Monday to see about switching what I had put for my first choice for the feast. I had put Tahoe as first choice but now I dont' want to go there. I want to go to Clearwater now, b/c that's where it seems most people are going to try to go. So anyways, I got a message yesterday morning from Mr. Davis saying that Tahoe and Clearwater are full right now and he thanked me for my "patience" because he's still waiting because so many people haven't turned in there feast request! COME ON PEOPLE!!! Send in your request some of us folks need to make plans!
I have this feeling I'll get this nice letter from HQ saying "You've been accepted to Corpus Christi!" ....then I will cry! :(
I really wish I could convince some others to come to Barbados! I think that's the best option but I just can't see myself going there by myself.
Guess i should have a better attitude and just pray and trust that God knows what He's doing! Right!?!
I'm really upset that I have to go to work tonight while my friends in Tn go to a Dave Matthews Concert!
I'm even more upset that we can't find tickets to the Ben Harper concert that will be going on while I'm up there visiting!
Ok...so I'm done ranting for the moment...maybe more later.
-Exie